Tales From the Home Front by Ruthann Betz-Essinger

Imagine my surprise when I came home today to find a snake in my home office. He was laying very still and enjoying the texture of the carpet (I think). I noticed him because he was rather large (about 2 feet – just kidding about 6 inches – as thick as my pinky finger) completely black in color except for the small yellow/gold/white band around his neck. He looked lovely on the carpet – a nice contrast. When I came to and after checking to see if we were both breathing I decided that if I opened the door I might be able to help him outside. In the meantime my tabby cat – Violet – decided to come and see what I was doing. She proceeded to bat at the snake who until this moment was completely still. The snake took off towards the door but was too small to get over the threshold. So trying to help the snake and keep the cat from sending the snake into hiding I ran outside to get a stick – I’m thinking this is what that crocodile guy would have done. I get the stick and try to get the snake to hang on to it to get him to freedom. Of course at this point the snake freaks (and I am going to call him Fred as we now had spent some time together). Fred tries his best to head to the file cabinet to hide from the crazy woman with a stick (that’s me) and a very excited cat. Thinking hard again – I manage to sprint to the copy paper (located & ORGANIZED in perfect stacks above the printer) and grab some sheets of paper. Pushing kitty aside I scoop Fred onto the paper and dash out the door to the nearest flower bed. There I deposited Fred into the leaves.

Moral of the story: You better have an organized home office because you never know when you are going to need a piece of paper.

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